I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
