FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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