you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
