dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I am spending my child support on dildos
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
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