Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize