No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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