you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
