I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
