My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize