You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
