i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
