Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
