she is the kim kardashian of front butts
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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