I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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