More tranny stories later!
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
