whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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