stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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