dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
