do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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