Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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