just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
