it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
