I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
