somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
