Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
