My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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