He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
