thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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