I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
