I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
