Pants 0. Shit 1.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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