If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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