It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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