I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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