Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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