dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
