I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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