she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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