Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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