There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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