I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
