Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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