ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
