Sry I called you an 8
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
