actually, I'm a sock model
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Randomize
