I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
