Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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