He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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