I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize