I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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