This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
