well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
My feet surprised me
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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