He disabled his match.com account in front of me
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
