I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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