its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
